Always look for the positive, the end note for a piece I wrote on the West Coast Rail contract fiasco. The story - told through the eyes of First Group - focused on the company's response to a very public dispute involving the incumbent
operator Virgin Rail.
On the face it, there wasn't a lot of good news to share. Virgin outed the bid as unrealistic, forcing the DfT to reverse its original decision, while it investigated the claims. However, about halfway through the interview I hit upon the kernel of feel good story.
Following a quick run through of what had happened, why and when, the conversation turned to the response. I listed 'cascade', 'communications', 'channels' and...'courage'. The latter used  to describe the CEO who, it turned out, had really come to the fore during the crisis.
His actions - regular interviews with TV and radio - provided a focal point for others to rally round. With hindsight, or if the piece was written again, I would move the CEO further up the order, renosing the intro to better reflect his 'courage' under fire.
This was the real positive in an otherwise bleak episode, proving the old adage: every challenge is a new opportunity.

Are we falling out of love with ‘wordy’ intros? My experience tells me, yes. Gone are the days when you were free to wax lyrical about this, that or the other; now it’s all about getting to the point – and getting there
quick. Take the following example:
Every year it’s the same pattern – and the  same sense of wonderment. Starting out in the cold waters of the northern
Atlantic, the leatherback turtle embarks on an epic journey in search of  tropical beaches to lay its eggs. The journey, a distance of some 20,000km (12,000 miles) is fraught with danger but, for the world’s largest turtle, it is a simple matter of life and death.
The leatherback is just one of the species found in the coastal region around the Congo Basin in central Africa. It is also
home to a number of whales, which use the area for breeding, and the endangered humpback dolphin. However, actual sightings of the creatures have been sporadic at best.
I've been trying to use this intro for a while now. It started out the back end of last year as a way into a feature on mapping the Congo basin. The original plan was to tie in new technology with saving endangered turtles. This worked fine for the concept but was never published. So when the  topic came round again - this time with less emphasis on the technology - I took full advantage. 
The focus this time was on the business case, or why do the project in the first place? My feeling was that this incredible journey would provide the perfect hook. How wrong I was. “Too soft”, “leaves more questions than answers”, came the initial feedback. 
The rewrite saw the journey bit cut altogether and a harder edge given to the whole piece.
 
Just like the turtle, sightings of a wordy intro are rare indeed.